


Satan Has Feathers

by ImmoralOwl



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Comics), Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: All pirate captains need one, Animal Death, Attempted Murder, Brutal Murder, It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, Kraglin just wants to be safe on his own ship, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Peter gets Yondu a pet, Swearing, There's no SPCA in space, or PETA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-25 11:53:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12530728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmoralOwl/pseuds/ImmoralOwl
Summary: Peter thinks Ravagers are the space version of pirates and what does every good pirate Captain need?Or how a foot of feathers was almost the death of the Eclector's First Mate





	Satan Has Feathers

There’s a sea of red leathers undulating under the mid morning sun as the crew of the Eclector load supplies into two transport ships.  
Yondu sits perched on a massive crate of assorted fresh vegetables over seeing, he ain’t going to eat them that’s for sure but some of the more herbivore inclined crew have been bitching up a storm about options in the mess hall lately and they’ll shut the lot of them up for awhile.  
He has an eye on Quill too, he’s at one of the end stalls ogling over stars knows what and he don’t much care so long as the kid doesn’t come begging to have whatever it is bought for him. 

Kid has been with them long enough now to suss out what being a Ravager is like, steer your ship through the void, loot and plunder, steal from everyone but not each other, shoot people that deserve it (loose interpretation of deserve), whiskey and rum getting drank like water, pass out then get up and do it all again.  
Pirates, that’s what Quill had called them when he figured out the Ravager lifestyle before going off on a rambling speech about how on Terra pirates sailed the waters all over the world, stole from people while drinking booze, lost body parts to gunfire or swords and lived without rules.  
Yondu had scoffed, of course Ravagers had rules they were just called the codes but he figured they weren’t anything so numerous as what some soft teary eyed Momma’s boy must have been used to if his idea of being an outlaw was staying up past 9pm and not having to brush his teeth twice a day so he figured by Terra standards they probably really were lawless badass pirates.  
He didn’t burst the kids bubble that it wasn’t all fun and games, ship needed stocked often, reports went through damn near daily, rookies to train, all the little headache inducing things about everyday life, still Yondu swelled up just a little when the kid said he thought Ravagers were ‘awesome’ and he was ‘kinda cool’ for being captain and all.  
That was some months back though and Yondu hadn’t been called cool since, in fact the very opposite after explaining to Quill what he could and couldn’t do planetside if he didn’t want to end up as dinner when he got him back to the ship before each landing.

Yondu’s throne of produce is the last thing to get loaded up, he’s tempted to stay seated and have the boys carry him into the hold on it like some kind of regal king but he’s got a brat to corral back onboard so they can get up to the mothership and begin the unload and recheck inventory before heading off to find the next adventure.  
He barely has time to get fully turned in the direction of the stalls before Peter’s practically on top of him and shoving a round domed cage with a cloth over it into his stomach.  
Something squawks in the cage from the jostle when it’s little home gets jammed into Yondu’s guts.  
“Boy-” Yondu starts as he holds the handle to the cage with one hand and pinches the bridge of his nose with the other, he’s told the kid no damn pets every time he makes heart eyes at anything that doesn’t outwardly look like it might eat him.  
“It’s for you” Peter says quickly jamming his hands into his pockets and rocking on his heels “ya know, cause you totally need one! All the greatest most fearsome pirate captains have one on Eart-err-Terra” and then he takes off on a dead run to Yondu’s M-Ship without looking back or waiting to see if Yondu even keeps it.  
Yondu’s tempted to march over to the vendor, make them take it, demand whatever ridiculous amount of units they probably got out of Quill for it and then keep the money but the kid said all the greatest most fearsome and well if the kid thinks he’s some great infalible fearsome captain of the stars far be it from him to ruin the image.

“What in hell is that thing Cap’n?” Kraglin says as soon as Yondu steps out of his ship onto the ramp once they’re docked safely back on the Eclector.  
“That’s Redbeard” Peter happily exclaimed as he pushes his way past Yondu to race off wherever it is Peter goes to avoid helping with retallying inventory.  
Kraglin gives a wary eye to the exotic parrot like bird perched on Yondu’s shoulder, it’s real pretty but the boys might not be good with it he thinks, they have a tendency to not know how to handle cute things and it often turns out disastrous, really it’s a surprise Peter’s lasted this long - not that he’d admit the runt is kind of a cute little cuss or anything, if anything he’s just kind of grown on him, like the fungus in Horuz boots last time they went to a swamp covered planet and he didn’t bother to dry them properly that’s all.  
Redbeard has red feathers the color of Yondu’s implant with the exception of its tail feathers that are orange as the foamy ear pieces of Peter’s headphones and solid grey-blue eyes that gently bug out of its face on either side of a hooked silver beak.  
“Redbeard this here’s my First Mate, Kraglin” Yondu says as he gets the bird to stand on his wrist and holds it out to Kraglin for him to get a better look.  
“Hello Kraglin -squawk- Redbeard”  
“Uhhh nice ta meet ya Redbeard” Kraglin says as sweet as he can.  
He can’t put his finger on it but there’s something about this bird that makes the hair on the back of his neck itch as it eyes him up and down.

Peter once said if you were really really super bad, you went to Hell and got tortured by some big red demon named Satan when you died.  
Kraglin knows he doesn’t have the cleanest soul and he isn’t dead so he figures Satan must be on holiday in the world of the living or maybe he’s looking for fresh meat to mark for later once they pass on.  
Undoubtedly Satan has feathers.

It starts out innocent enough, Yondu must have forgotten to get the cage locked right before leaving for his shift one day, Kraglin is half awake as he reaches for his boot only to be greeted when his fingers reach it by a clicking sound and a shiny beak jolting up to try and nip him.  
“Oh, erm hey buddy. What ya doin’ in mah boot?” he softly says as he gingerly picks it up so he doesn’t jostle Redbeard too much and carries him boot and all over to his cage “let’s just get ya back home so ya don’t get in no trouble or nothing on yer lonesome” with that he tilts the boot so Redbeard can squeeze out and hop up to strut along the perch in the cage.  
Kraglin gives him one of the special birdy treats he looked up a recipe for and had Cook make once he’s all ready to leave their room for the day.  
He doesn’t give it a second thought.

That night Yondu’s already snoring away in bed by the time Kraglin rolls in covered in grease and soot from the minor engine fire Yondu had decided wasn’t worthy of staying up to handle himself.  
He pulls the tray out of Redbeards cage to change the soiled paper, checks to make sure he has water and food, slides the tray back in like he always does before bed because Peter might have gotten the bird for Yondu but he’s yet to do anything other than let it hang out on his shoulder and sweet talk it.  
Kraglin heads to the shower to rinse the days grime and stink off of himself so he doesn’t keep himself up from the sheer rank of it all.  
The water feels good, real good, and Kraglin loses himself in the feeling as it washes over his tired aching muscles.  
He’s as relaxed as he gets when he turns the water off, pulls the curtain back and grabs his towel without really looking at the room to rub over his face.  
There’s a hissing click sound like something from one of the horror movies that Gef likes so much that comes from the doorway, startled he jumps and almost falls back into the shower as he whips the towel away from his face to see what monstrosity has come to claim his life.  
Redbeard is standing in the doorway.  
The parrot’s staring at Kraglin’s man meat as if it’s a tasty snake bobbing up and down as it squawks out with an sinister tone “I’m FIRST mate” and suddenly a scant foot creature is the most intimidating thing he’s encountered besides Yondu.  
Quickly he wraps the towel around his waist and internally reminds himself he’s a Ravager and it’s just a stupid bird, nothing to be worked up or stars forbid scared of.  
The indignant yelp he doesn’t remember making when he nearly toppled over has woken Yondu up apparently because before he can start the walk to the door and scoop Redbeard up Yondu’s in the doorway asking how he got out and chuckling at Kraglin for being startled by a bird.  
Perched on Yondu’s shoulder Redbeard happily squawks and repeats ‘pretty bird’ all the way back to the cage but there’s something in those seeming unblinking marbles that unnerves Kraglin when it turns its head to lock eyes with him. 

Kraglin is alone in their room the third time Redbeard makes an escape.  
There’s the sound of metal softly sliding against metal, a low pitched thud like someone dropped a tuber they were peeling and then the clack clack clack of talons on floor plates.  
When Kraglin turns around there’s no Redbeard in the cage for sure, the door is swinging open to and fro and no Redbeard on the floor anywhere.  
‘Huh, must be hidin’, probably under tha bed or something’ Kraglin thinks as he slumps his shoulders and turns back around to the star chart spread out on the desk.  
An occupied star chart.  
Redbeard has some how managed to get up onto the desk despite not being able to fly more than half a foot.  
“Hey there pretty bird, gotta move so’s I can see” he says in a friendly tone.  
The reply from Redbeard is to take one of Yondu’s trinkets whos home is the back of the desk in his beak and hurl it full force at Kraglin’s face.  
“Now thas not nice, hey come on” he gets another trinket throw at him, one that actually connects this time followed by another.  
Redbeard lets out a haunting evil laugh before he picks up a fourth ready to lodge at Kraglin.  
Kraglin decides he can use the holo screens on the observation deck to get his work done.  
“Fuck off boy” squawks behind him as the door whooshes shut.

Next time they land planetside, and a half dozen other small incidents, Kraglin picks up a bunch of toys made for parrots, figures Redbeard keeps escaping and acting out because he’s bored.  
Yondu doesn’t have him up on bridge quite as often during shift since the little Red Terror decided to repeat ‘harder, yeah, harder -squawk- just like that’ and mimic a well paid whores moan.  
All of bridge crew froze, they knew where the bird picked that up and why their Captain’s ear tips were suddenly navy but no one said or moved until Yondu coughed, mumbled “musta had a hell of a owner before” and left to take Redbeard back to his cabin under the guise of not wanting anyone to be distracted.  
Once he was out of ear shot they all snickered and jabbed at Kraglin wanting to know who’s noises were who in that impromptu reenactment which not only got Kraglin’s ear tips navy but the whole ear, his face and half way down his neck.  
The First Mate was much better to tease than the Captain.  
Redbeard seems to like the cuttlebone and wood toys that dangle down into the cage from the top, that or he’s sharpening his beak to impale Kraglin with as he runs it up and down them and tests out biting them before admiring his beak in the little mirror on one of them.  
The gift of toys seems to do little to get Redbeard to like Kraglin though.

Kraglin is just sitting down in the mess hall after a hard morning of yelling and breaking up rookie fights to eat the last bowl of his favorite soup when there’s the same hissing click sound from earlier in the month when all he wanted to do was enjoy a hot shower and curl into bed.  
Moments later the head of a decent sized orloni crashes down into his bowl sending soup sploshing over the sides before it floats up to bob in the center of his precious lunch.  
When he looks up there are beady grey-blue eyes framed by red glaring down from the wide vent grates above him.  
How Redbeard got up there he hasn’t got a clue but he’s pretty sure by now the bird has it out for him.  
He’s never seen anything outside a sentient being have that much hatred in its eyes.

Yondu laughs each time Kraglin points out what a menace his ‘pretty birdie’ is.  
The orloni head was a gift, the copious amount of bird poop all over his good jump suit doesn’t mean anything because birds poop on stuff and Redbeard just dragged down whatever he could get his beak on so he could do his business in one spot while he was roaming the cabin, Redbeard making threatening statements was just him repeating what he heard the guys say duh that’s what parrots do they parrot back things, breaking Kraglin’s stuff was just accidental the poor thing had its wings clipped so it didn’t fly so well and it was bound to knock into things trying, an excuse for everything.  
Kraglin made a point of never saying anything negative within earshot of the parrot, in fact all he said in front of it was how Yondu should let him out to roam during the day since he knew how to get out of his cage despite numerous attempts to foolproof it and he might get hurt alone in there.  
He hoped getting Redbeard free range of the ship would help the bird see him in a different light.

Yondu relented and agreed it wasn’t fair to keep the bird confined to their room anymore a couple days later.  
Peter decided to take up bird watching and started stalking Redbeard.  
He watched as Redbeard hid behind a crate further down the path on one of the hangar catwalks with a smooth round ball bearing in his beak soon after Yondu declared free range.  
At first Peter thought it was cute, that maybe Redbeard was playing a game like how him and his Mom used to watch the crows take nuts way up in the air only to drop them so they’d crack open or watch unripe ones bounce for fun.  
The game Redbeard was playing though turned out to be trying to break Kraglin’s neck.  
Just as Kraglin came close Redbeard silently dropped the chrome ball to roll into Kraglin’s path causing him to step on it and almost go face first over the railing.  
Those beady eyes never left Kraglin and if birds could smile it sent a shiver down Peter’s spine at the thought he probably would be the second Kraglin stepped and rolled his ankle on the ball losing his balance.  
Redbeard let out the same twisted maniacal squawking laugh that had come to be an almost daily staple in Kraglins life the entire time the man flailed about trying to fend off death over the railing.  
Once he was safe from a certain plummet and broken bones Kraglin frantically looked around seemingly afraid to move for the red death he knew must be lurking in the shadows.  
Peter looked to Redbeards hiding spot and just as he opened his mouth to give the bird away Redbeard locked eyes with him and without breaking the contact drew a silvery talon across his throat in silent warning.  
Peter immediately decided bird watching was no longer a hobby he had any desire of keeping.

Kraglin could feel evil beady eyes on him all the time, even when Redbeard was busy soaking up all Yondu’s love and attention, not actually paying him any mind.  
If anyone on the crew with a laugh even half similar to Redbeards laughed around him he damn near jumped out of his skin while reaching for his blaster.  
The bird attempted to murder him, take a finger or a toe off, say horrible things like “make you my bitch” or “you gotta go” almost every day.  
Two weeks of it and Yondu making fart noises every time he tried to talk about it had him taking up chain smoking again.  
The bird always showed up at the door to their room right after the buzzer that alerted the start of night shift, somehow without a feather so much as out of place, much to Kraglin’s disappointment.

The final straw came at 2:47am after a seemingly good day of no attempts where Redbeard even let Yondu put him on Kraglin’s shoulder.  
Kraglin had expected to come away from the encounter with one less ear but Redbeard had happily squawked and even rubbed against the stubble of Kraglin’s cheek.  
Too many witnesses for the bird to do anything and Yondu was giddy beside him oohing and ahhing over the display.  
Yondu was asleep now, curled up on his side with his back against Kraglin.  
Kraglin was flat on his back with an arm haphazardly slung over Yondu’s waist.  
Something woke Kraglin up, call it a foreboding evil presence he could feel as if somehow touching Yondu was granting him the empathic ability of the man's ancestors.  
Upon opening his eyes he looked straight down the bed past to where Redbeards cage sat on a stand, the cage door was closed and he let out a tiny sigh.  
It was short lived.  
Kraglin stretched out pressing his hands against the bottom rung of the headboard, a breeze on his finger tips had him tilting his head up.  
There on the top rung was Redbeard, ruffling his feathers with a sinister glint bouncing off the all too sharp beak.

“Have your eyes” came the hushed out demonic coo causing the objects in question to explode into full circles of terror.  
A light beam from the moon the ship was orbiting came flitting through the little porthole window illuminating a ray across a set of 4 razor blade capped toes raised directly above Kraglin’s head.  
Kraglin rolls off the bed screaming like a man possessed just in the nick of time to keep his eyes where they belong and undamaged.  
Yondu is instantly awake with a whistle ready to give any intruder a new hole or two.  
He finds no one standing in the room, the door is closed, Kraglin isn’t in bed though so he peers over the edge to find his mate sprawled out on the floor, pale as a man who’s seen his life flash before his eyes.  
“You have a nightmare Darlin’, musta been a doozy” he drawls as he relaxes and the arrow drops down to the bed beside him.  
Kraglin stands bolt upright and points a knobbly finger at the head of the bed “tried to kill me” he all but shouts “tried ta yank my damn eyes out”.  
Yondu looks confused until he turns his head and spies Redbeard innocently sitting on the top rung preening his feathers.  
As if being acknowledged by Yondu’s eyes is a cue Redbeard hops down onto the bed and bounces over to stand right in front of Yondu.  
“Got Kraglin’s eyes -squawk-” Redbeard innocently lets out as he bobs up and down and weaves side to side as if he’s some kind of cute little pet and not a psycho feathered attempted murderer.  
Yondu chuckles then full on laughs as he scoops Redbeard up and climbs out of bed to deposit him back in his cage, just to humor Kraglin he uses a little chain around one of the sets of bars to hold the door closed since Redbeard can undo the lock and clip through zip-ties.  
“I told him his eyes remind me a’ yours, got ya eyes” Yondu huffs out between trying to catch his breath from laughing “big bad ol’ birdy’s all put away now, ya ain’t got nothin to worry about”.  
Between being pulled back into bed, the rough little kisses and gropes, Kraglin steals glances at Redbeard who’s watching him with eyes that resemble nothing of his kind semi-compassionate ones.  
The parrot has to go before he does.

Half-Nut is in the hangar testing out a turbine for the engine of his M-ship when Kraglin comes in on his rounds through the ship to make sure everyone’s on task three days later.  
It’s the opportunity he’s been waiting for.  
He knows Redbeard is watching him because he can feel the presence of pure evil and yeah some of the guys on the crew have done some real terrible things but they don’t throw off a vibe half as sinister.  
No one bats an eye at the fact Kraglin has his big heavy flight gloves on, he wears them quite often even if he isn’t taking a ship out.  
Kraglin sits at one of the work benches trying to act nonchalant and like he’s just checking over things on his datapad, he’s trying his hardest to keep his hands from shaking and to not break into a sweat over doing nothing.  
He knows what he’s about to do is wrong, that if Yondu finds out he’s likely to go out the same way in some twisted retribution in Redbeard’s honor.  
It doesn’t take long before the sound of bone chilling laughter can be heard floating along the back of the work station followed by the clack of demonic nails as Redbeard walks into the recess under it.  
The perfect timing of an engine firing up hides the squawk and thud as Kraglin kicks under the table as hard as he can, he drops the stylus to his datapad and makes sure to keep his back and what he’s really getting to any prying eyes that may be present and makes his way up to the catwalk that saw him panic for his life.

Kraglin has second thoughts as he stands at the railing holding the unconscious parrot in his hands.  
Those thoughts are instantaneously dispelled the second Redbeard awakes and his first action is to try and rip through Kraglin’s flight gloves while hissing at him between tries.  
Redbeard clicks and glares when his efforts prove ineffective to draw any kind of blood.  
“I’ll kill you” he squawks low and sincere, those beady little eyes locked to Kraglin as if daring him to try and persuade him to be friends for the millionth time.  
He knows Redbeard means it, that if he lets him go now, if he backs out, that his own death will be just that more torturous for the attempt.  
It’s him or the bird.  
Him or the bird.  
Him or the bird.

Kraglin leans over the railing, his arms outstretched he takes one of the largest breaths he’s ever inhaled, no going back now.  
“I’ll see you in hell” screeches out loud and clear despite the noise coming from below as Redbeard leaves the hands holding him.  
The parrot makes no attempts to flap and alter the path of the fall, to avoid landing in Half-Nuts now running turbine, just glares at Kraglin never taking his eyes off him the whole way down.  
There’s a scream from Half-Nut who comes scrambling out from under the big engine part, his face and upper chest covered with blood and plastered with red and orange feathers.  
He waves his hands at himself as if he can’t decide if he wants to brush the feathers off as a couple others come over laughing.  
When they look up to see where Redbeard fell from there’s nothing but empty catwalk.

Yondu has been pouting all week, not that he’ll admit he’s pouting because that would mean he’d have to also admit how much the feathered creature meant to him and how much he misses it.  
Every time he sighs or looks at Redbeards cage before finally sending it off to be stored, each pat he makes to his shoulder that causes the corners of his mouth to turn just a hair down is a guilt laden bullet into Kraglin’s chest.  
The official determination was Redbeard must have tried to hop up onto one of the catwalk railing rungs but missed causing him to tumble down to his demise, just a terrible accident of bad timing all around.  
Peter even nods along and doesn’t seem all that upset as everyone talks about it to figure out what happened, even throwing in that he understands why Yondu kept saying no pets as he side eyes Kraglin and promises not to get any more even if they aren’t for him.  
Kraglin doesn’t feel bad about what he did, not by a long shot, he supposes maybe he should because despite all the harassment and attempts to end his life Redbeard was, was, well something, not an innocent animal that’s for sure but there’s just the slightest chance he could have found a resolution outside of murder.  
No, what he feels bad about is that he did something that made (is still making) Yondu sad and he never wants to be the reason for that even if it’s not directed at him since Yondu has no idea and what he did makes himself near giddy and safe.  
He has to make it right somehow, has to find a way to cheer Yondu up and he gets the perfect chance when he tags along to pick up supplies.

“What’s this then?” Yondu says around the smile engulfing his face as he picks up the newest trinket waiting for him on the side of his console the next day.  
It’s a little exotic bird made of vibrant cosmic rubies with tiny blue sapphire eyes and a yellow diamond beak, if it had a silver beak instead and orange tail it would almost be a dead ringer for a mini Redbeard.  
“Ain’t gunna wander off or… ya know” Kraglin says as he feels the weight lift from his chest at the smile that doesn’t fade after a couple seconds “figured it were a half decent replacement”.  
He doesn’t say ‘one that won’t kill me’ or ‘one that isn’t the reincarnation of evil that makes Thanos look like a saint’ but he certainly thinks it.  
Yondu doesn’t say thank you but when he places it back down it’s in the middle of his display.

**Author's Note:**

> What they put Groot in looked like a bird cage and why else would they have a bird cage, right? haha
> 
> Work hubby had a rough day so this is/was my cheer up present for him
> 
> Kudos and comments are <3


End file.
